Delonte West Traded to Home Depot

Let’s be honest – Delonte West is the man. So much so that I’ve carefully tailored my career to mirror his – an epic start at St. Joseph’s University, followed by a move to the Celtics…er, Boston. The similarities between us don’t end there; apparently we both have an uncanny knack for spending money, and while I’ve got a few screws loose, Delonte has seemingly ransacked the screw aisle at his local Lowes…or maybe Home Depot.

To prove my point, a closer examination of Delonte’s Twitter activity yesterday is necessary. Check out these gems:

1) “It’s official.. Pride 2 the side.. just filled out a application at Home Depot.. Lockout aint a game.”

2) “Can’t even get that over seas money. Judge said it’s a no go on leaving the country.”

3) “Broke down in the ATM line.. 25 cars behind me and I already reached my daily limit… I’m broke n my cars broke.. Where’s my therapist???”

I can just picture Kevin Garnett running around the amazon strangling leopards with his bare hands as we speak.

To fill in the blanks for those of you who don’t keep such close tabs on Delonte (morons), West has been paid over $14 million throughout the course of his NBA career. Yet he’s “broke.” He also can’t leave the country stemming from weapons charges, when the bi-polar West was pulled over in Maryland speeding at over 100mph on his motorcycle – with a guitar case filled with automatic weapons.

But hey, let’s not speak poorly about my boy. Here’s my Delonte fact of the day, and yes, a shameless plug for St. Joe’s: Delonte had a very rare “perfect game” while at St. Joe’s in 2004 – 12 for 12 on field goals, 6 for 6 from the free throw line, and 3 for 3 from 3-point range – an incredible 33 points without a miss versus Xavier.

I can’t help but wonder how those skills translate to Home Depot?